What's Important

I have been where you are.  While no two experiences are the same, I would like to share my experiences with you in hopes you will find them helpful.  I made a lot of mistakes; maybe you won’t have to make the same ones I did.

What’s important?  The most important thing is to ensure your child is having fun.  If your son or daughter isn’t having fun it is only a matter of time when the friction between child and parent begins and rebellion arrives shortly thereafter.  You are reading this because your child is considering soccer as a sport of choice and as a good parent you want the best for your child.  Good news, if soccer is what your son or daughter wants to do then you have come to the right place.

Other parents and players may still be in the exploration stage.  His or her best friends are playing and you, or your child, want to learn more.  The AYSES Academy is the perfect place for observation prior to commitment.  Observe how the coaches interface with your child, see how your child interfaces with the other children, and watch to see if they enjoy learning how to play soccer.

My oldest son told me one day at 8 or 9 he wanted to play select soccer.  Ten years ago there were no select soccer youth academies.  There were indoor teams that people were invited to join where select coaches came to observe.  He played on several and was fortunate enough to be invited to join a couple of teams.  In those days, there were true tryouts with enormous implications for youth parents.  It was a stressful time.  Today, most clubs have academy programs where you son or daughter can learn from professionals how to play the game prior to making a commitment.  It is much easier for parents to assess the right place for their son or daughter.

I told my son we would look at different teams, but there were three things most important: 1) find a coach/club where soccer is taught, not just played to win (I had already seen enough of that), 2) find a coach who would treat my son with respect (no one is going to say things to my son that I won’t even say to them) and 3) we wanted a good role model from the coach who would spending a lot of hours each week with our son.  Don’t take any of these things for granted.

I knew nothing about soccer as, like many dads, I was a former football and basketball player.  How hard it could be?  You just kick a ball into the net and keep the other team from doing the same.  So I became my son’s coach and my teams won, obviously it was more about talent than coaching, for sure.  I had a neighborhood team that played indoor soccer and my team was loaded with a bunch of kids that went on to some of the top select programs.  There was a particular team we played that was always difficult for us.  We had better athletes, but they were so skilled.  More importantly, after every game, their coach brought the kids together and encouraged them; “Great pass”, “I like what I saw”, “Keep trying”, etc.

I got the coaches number and called him.  I invited Sammy Olali to my home to discuss my son’s situation.  My son went on to play 9 years for the AYSES and earn a soccer scholarship to Florida Atlantic University (Division I school in Boca Raton, FL). My son was a good player, but the coaching and development of AYSES made him a really good one.  More importantly, his coaches were there for him during some of his most formative years.  I realized I couldn’t be my son’s only male role model, just the most important.  He spent a lot of time with his coaches and teammates over the years; they became important influences on his life.

I was lucky, I got the entire package.  My son excelled under the AYSES philosophy.  Select soccer isn’t quite the same as Little League Baseball, Allen Sports Association football or McKinney Soccer Association teams.  A small group of boys and girls will be chosen to spend 50 weeks, several times a week for the next 9 years together regardless of what club they play for.  It was very rewarding.

In many countries soccer is referred to as “the beautiful game”.  It requires more skill than other sport I played in my youth, but is requires more than skill.  The ability for 12 year old children to put together 6 passes, controlling the ball down the field and ALMOST make a shot is exhilarating.  Others, less familiar with the game, might call it frustrating, but that is the beauty of soccer.  Over the years, an AYSES player will develop this love of” the beautiful game”.  Becoming a great soccer player takes years and it isn’t always the most gifted child who ends up being the top player.  The best players are many times the players who love the game the most.  It motivates them to be the best they can be.
 

Important Decision Criteria

1. Location, location, location.  Most parents will drive their child across the Metroplex if they felt like it was the best place for their child.  However, getting your child to practice twice a week is mandatory if they want to play.  Make it as easy on yourself while selecting the right coach.
    
2. Playing with friends.  As much as kids want to stay together it doesn’t always happen.  That is ok.  Players will make friends quickly.  They already have one thing in common – they enjoy playing soccer.  Make sure whatever team you put your child on that you meet the parents of the other players and make sure it is a good fit.  You will be spending a lot of time with them.
    
3. Carpooling.  Look for carpooling opportunities.  It is hard to drive to two practices a week plus games on the weekend.  There are lots of other kid obligations, illness and other family matters.
    
4. Trust.  This may be the hardest.  Players who switch teams 3-4 times during their select career may not get the full enjoyment of building a team from helping to make it a success.  He/she may also not have the long-lasting bonds that players on the team will have.  If you find the right team, trust the coach.  It won’t be easy, I promise, but if I did anything right my sons started and finished with the same team.  If you can’t turn your child over to the coach you are considering, look for another club.  You may find yourself at odds with a coach once the “recruitment” phase is over.
    
5. Talk to others:  All clubs and coaches are not the same.  Ask other people who played for that coach or club.  Everyone will have an opinion but focus on development, whether the coach as a maniac or treated the players with respect and don’t forget to ask about turnover.  Nothing says more about a team that its turnover of players every year.  Do your homework.

The Academy

The two years leading up to signing with a select team can be important.  All major clubs offer youth soccer academies.  Go to different ones and compare them.  Watch the coaches and the parents carefully.  See how they interact with the players.  Do they get the coaches full attention?  Are they treated fairly and with respect?  Are certain players favored more than others?

It is important during the pre-select years for your son/daughter to get good instruction AND have fun.  Once the qualifying tournament begins shortly after signing day in U11, everything changes.  Club youth academies are for teaching your child important soccer skills.  Take advantage of it.  They also present an excellent opportunity for you to find the right club and coach for your child.

Buyer Beware – this is a business and clubs will many times do what is in their best interest, which may, or may not, be in the best interest of your child.  Beware of promises, sales pitches and exaggeration by a coach who wants your son/daughter to play for the.  I have never known a 11 year old who got a college offer for a scholarship, but there are lots of clubs/coaches out there who will sell it.  Certain clubs pitch this hard, but do your homework.  Go back to the last team that graduated and find out how many of those players started with that team at U11.  There is a whole group of 11 year olds that started on that team 9 years ago that aren’t there anymore.  Two questions to ask:  1) where are those players now? and 2) where did you recruit these players from because someone else may have had an important part in developing them.
 

Team Parents

I was an overly involved parent.  I yelled a lot on the sideline.  I thought I was motivating, even encouraging the team.  One day my son turned to me after I gave him some instructions about what he could have done better during the game.  He turned to me and said, “I have a coach; I need a dad.”  It was profound.  It changed my life and I share it with you so that you might avoid a grave mistake I made.

Much to my surprise, my son didn’t need for me to yell or criticize.  He did just fine listening to the coach.  I found enjoyment becoming my son’s biggest fan and left the coaching to someone else.  This is easier for some people than others but make the effort for your sakes and your players’.

Enjoy the parents on the sidelines.  I met my two business partners in youth soccer.  Some of my closest friends and social relationships have come from getting to know parents on the sidelines.  You will travel with them, got to end of the year parties with them and be involved in team functions.  Make it enjoyable for your child, but make it good for you, too.
 

Summary

If you make the right decision for your child this whole process will seem easy.  A difficult year due to lack of playing time, behavior of a coach or your child not getting along with the other players can be a long one for parents and players.  The AYSES Academy is a safe place for you to bring your child and learn about select soccer.